Not Interested in the Carnival

Alright, I have something to say. This is my blog, and I do promise a little history here. Not much today, mostly ranting. Well, maybe I have a question first.

 Why the hell would anyone want to go on a cruise?

There, I said it. Now, you can sit there and tell me all day long about the really big  pretty pool, or the all night buffets; the live music and dancers, or even the neat water slide and sweet fruity drinks with pink umbrellas. To which I will reply…so?

 Here’s the thing, folks. Cruises…suck. I’ve never been on one (fact), however, the idea of spending days upon days on open water with 4,000 strangers in a floating Atlantic City casino sounds like pure hell. What are you experiencing on the ship that you can’t experience on a beach in Belize, Costa Rica, Brazil, or in the Bahamas? Think about all that time you are willingly trapped in something resembling a small town parading as an adult amusement park in the middle of nowhere, when you could be out and about, free to explore a new country or destination instead. It seems ludacris!

 The recent events of the Carnival Triumph disaster further convince me that cruise ships are no longer the way to travel. Maybe they were back during the time of the Titanic, but those poor souls didn’t exactly get the trip they were promised, either. (History) Let’s not forget the Costa Concordia fiasco last year. (More history) Geez-Louise! I can’t even imagine being a passenger living through that. But I will say, at least the water was a little warmer for those folks. (Sorry—Jack and Rose.)

 I realize that air travel is also not  ideal anymore.  I much prefer hopping in my oldie-but-goody Mustang and zigzagging my way across the country to dealing with the hassles of commercial flying. But at least with flying, you get on the ground in a matter of hours, and you can start your actual vacation in an actual location, as opposed to a fake one. (Theoretically-although, if flying Delta, you may end up with a longer than anticipated travel time, possibly requiring you to start your vacation eating dinner at the fabricated Irish pub in the Detroit airport.)

 Anyway, I don’t mean to berate the industry, because I know that many of you may love to spend your days doing nothing, lounging around on a deck next to a fake pool of water inside a floating sea-bus on top of a much larger and violent body of water, but it’s really not for me. Any inkling of a desire that I may have had to embark on a cruise has now completely disappeared. Congratulations, Carnival, you have turned my cruise nightmare into a very possible reality.


**I may be persuaded to change my mind if one of the cruise companies sees this post and by chance wants to offer me a complimentary ride on a ship in exchange for a good review—if I have a safe and entertaining time, of course. I’m speaking to you, any ships that cruise in Alaska.

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