A Feminist on Sexuality: It’s Not Trump, It’s Culture

Some of my favorite things about being a woman are the very things that bring me the most grief for being a woman.

There is nothing more empowering than being a sexy, sexual, full-of-feminine spirit type of woman; a woman who is confident in her body and mind and knows how to accentuate the most beautiful parts of herself–including those traits that make her physically or sexually appealing to men and women alike. There is nothing more amazing than being a woman; a complete package of youthful allure, innate sexuality, and from that sexuality, the ability to grow another human life in the most perfect of natural conditions. Being a woman is being sexual–and that’s exactly how we were made to be.

When this feminine sexuality is abused by anyone outside of the woman herself, and it is accepted as OK, we have taken away all of the power of female sexuality. As women, we should realize that this is our most basic power–our special right simply for being born a woman. When culture allows comments to be made that weaken that power, we are, in a sense, allowing ourselves to be robbed of what is intrinsically ours. This is the one thing that has been & will always remain ours.

I’m not sitting here naively thinking that any sexist comments made by Trump were unusual, or outside the norm for a boys night out or a “locker room” conversation, as many are trying to excuse them. What I want to point out is the systemic acceptance of this type of attitude in our culture–that somehow we can excuse comments objectifying women because “boys will be boys”.

That excuse is lazy, and too forgiving of the antiquated mindset that women are inferior to men because we are something to be sexually conquered, and therefore should accept constant sexual objectification because that is our lady lot in life. Haven’t we collectively realized by now (at least) that this just isn’t true?

Our female sexuality should be respected and revered. It should not be used as a power play by men who see it as their right to collect. How about we teach our young men that women have sole ownership of their own sexuality, so that the actions of grown men reflect a lifetime of understanding the sacredness of the female body, instead of years of culture conditioning them to see women as nothing more than bits and parts–less than a whole. And even worse– to see these parts as an entitlement to every man who wants a grab.

There is nothing unusual about Trump’s comments. Society worships men who have made far more grotesque statements–look no further than the hip-hop music culture, where we are paying men millions of dollars to write lyrics that horribly objectify women & celebrate sexual violence. However, there is nothing acceptable about the cultural mindset that a woman’s intrinsic sexuality is up for grabs, no matter where the statement originates.

It’s not Trump, it’s us–collectively as a culture–who are perpetuating the mindset that it’s ok to speak of women in terms of “pussy”, and it’s normal for women to be reduced to a pile of tits and asses and legs in stilettos. We’ve turned the most powerful part of being a woman into the very thing that weakens & reduces us into nothing more than locker room conversation, and so many people out there don’t even bat an eye.

If we don’t want our daughters to grow up to be robbed of their feminine power, then we have to decide together to punish this mindset. Stop buying the albums. Stop laughing at the comments. Stop excusing “boys will be boys” when the consequence is that girls are not allowed to be girls without owing boys.

Let’s weed out the weak men who see women as objects by proving to them the real strength of a society that respects & celebrates the power of female sexuality.

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Bev Barth says:

    OK, so I am an old lady who has been working for a living long before you were born. I have worked with FBI agents, ATF Agents, police officers, firemen, accountants in the 1970’s, and lawyers. Men talk like this when they believe nobody else is around to hear them. Before Women’s Lib hit the fan they all talked liked this. When they believe no women are in earshot they still talk like this. “I’m the king of the mountain” attitude. Testosterone and steroids all mixed together. Beating their chest, I’m better than you. Bullshit.

    Men will be men, boys will be boys. Although they want to look like they are ‘respectful’ of women, they still talk like pigs when they think nobody can hear them — usually other men who accept their comments. It’s a “hey, I’m a big guy and I’m just talking shit so the guys will think I’m one of them.” Remember back in the day when they wolf-whistled at us passing by? It was to impress the other guys, not women.

    It’s a hormonal thing. Get over it.


  2. Parker Lake says:

    A 70-year old man with testosterone overload? Probably not. He’s just being crude and showing his nasty domineering side.

    A lot of things have changes since the 70’s Bev. Look around you. Walking around forcing women to kiss you, grabbing their genitals or for that matter jeering at disabled people or calling out Americans for their Mexican heritage is no longer amusing. Those things are pretty fringe and out of place these days. Sensitivities have changed and so has what’s considered polite speech and acceptable behavior.

    Trump’s game is played out. Plain and simple.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s